Blissful Thinking
by dancing.rox464
Summary: During a movie with Bella, Edward compares the different sides of his personality. One-shot. Warning: all Fluff!


**I haven't liked how I have been portraying Edward lately, so I decided to write a piece from his point of view. This has been swimming around in my brain for ages, and I'm happy to finally get it out. 'Tis short, but I like it.  
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**Don't worry, I'll get back to Dilemmas soon, I'm debating over a few different paths to take, give me a little time.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Edward Cullen, otherwise I wouldn't share him!  
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**Review!! Please!**

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We were watching a movie, but I wasn't paying it the slightest attention. I was concentrating intently upon the most important thing in my whole life: my fiancée. Bella was currently snuggled up in my arms, immersed in an old James Bond film.

She was so warm next to me. I was sure that at any moment my icy body was going to melt from the sheer bliss of the feeling. I would miss this source of warmth after the change; the thought of her upcoming demise thrilled and yet depressed me.

Her beauty seemed to radiate out of her like sunlight. Dark hair framed her face and accented her light skin. Her full lips were in a little "o" and her eyes were wide, staring at the television. But her perfection, her beauty was more then a visual beauty, her soul was so flawless, so impossibly good. It pained me to think that I may be taking away that soul from her.

Our relationship had changed so much since that our first meeting as juniors. If someone had told me during that first biology class one day I would be marrying this beautiful gift from heaven, I would have never believed them. It made me smile to think that I had once viewed Bella as an incarnation from my own personal hell. Oh, how wrong I had been.

The movie changed to a torture scene. Bella instinctively hid her face in my side and squeezed me tighter.

The emotions that came as a response to this simple movement threatened to overwhelm me, but I kept them hidden.

On one hand, the sudden scent that came to me from Bella's flushed face brought the vampire in me to life. The venom flooded into the back of my mouth as I suppressed the intense urge to dart out and bite her. I swallowed and, ignored that side of my nature; I had become accustomed to the aching dryness in my throat that the scent of Bella's blood set off. It took effort to abstain, but it was much easier now that I was used to the feeling.

The vicious side of my personality was greatly outweighed by my human half. The urge to kill was annihilated by the urge to protect Bella from myself. The dryness ached, but my love hurt. The thought of a cold, lifeless Bella was the worst type of torture imaginable, it was painful beyond belief. The only thing worse then the thought would be the action itself. The feeling was intensified by the knowledge that I would be the one responsible for her death.

I wanted more then anything to protect Bella from harm, including myself. I had hurt her once before, and I had vowed never to instil that degree of pain on her ever again. The guilt still took me over at times, when I left, for even the most necessary needs, and I saw the look of panic in Bella's eyes. She tried to hide it, but I saw it all the same.

Then there was the third side of me, the one Bella saw most clearly, also the strongest. The side that simply wanted to love Bella, for no reason other then to enjoy her company and to prove to her how much she meant to me. While the other two sides of my personality caused sharp, painful emotions, the third piece of me cause only happy, soft, adoring feelings. Not to mention the frequent X-rated thought… or two. It was this side of me that won the constant internal war anytime I was near Bella.

I looked down at Bella, still cowering into my shoulder and hugged her closer to me. I took a deep breath, enjoying her delectable scent and at the same time, almost teasing my evil nature. I proved to myself, yet again, how strong I was to refuse her. Gently, I kissed her hair and smiled when I felt her relax, trusting me completely.

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**First time I've written in a POV other then Bella's, how is it?**

**Review please!! I'll love you forever!**


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